It's a new year!

Well - it's the eve of my 40th birthday - which means I'm still officially 39 (a number I'd like to stay at!) and I've decided to write my very first blog. I've had a general sense of anxiety these past few months about this impending day, which seems to have escalated and peaked these past few days. But a very good friend took me out for dinner tonight & we had a long conversation about - well ... life. & about my business. So - I'm feeling rather reflective, and thought I'd share some of my thoughts in my blog.

What is a blog? & what do I want this blog to be? & how strange is it to share my feelings/thoughts with people I don't even know. I suppose it's my choice as to how personal (or not) I decide to be. And I suppose that every person (ok, maybe not every person) who decides to start a blog has these thoughts/questions. And I also suppose that I don't need to answer these questions right now - maybe what this blog will be will make itself clear as time passes. I'd intended to write about Reiki - and reiki-related topics. And/or business-y topics. And/or creative topics. And/or topics on spirituality. Maybe it will be all of those. :)

For now, I wanted to share some thoughts on gratitude.
I'd resolved, the past few days, that I wasn't going to celebrate my birthday - that I would turn off my phone, & not check my email - I wanted to ignore the day. But after spending time this evening with my friend, I was reminded of how many people care about me, and how blessed I am to have people around me who support my emotional and spiritual path. It's so easy to get sucked into our own thoughts - (negative) - and start spiraling down into a depressed state (as someone said 'to stare at our bellybuttons'). I recently read a quote (which I'm sure I won't quote correctly) by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche: "If you want to be miserable, think about yourself; if you want to be happy, think of others." It made me laugh out loud when I read it - because I'd been obsessing about something that I was unhappy about. It's so true, that when we start focusing on ourselves, or on what we're missing/lacking (either physically or emotionally), or comparing ourselves to others, etc, we become unhappy very quickly. Thinking of others, forces us to look outside ourselves - and we start to see things we can't when we're obsessed with ourselves (staring out our bellybutton). And it's when we start looking outward that we can see what really is around us. Sometimes we see people who are less fortunate than us - there are always people who have bigger issues, bigger concerns, bigger pain, than us. People who have no homes, people who live with/in violence and/or oppression, people who don't have freedom of choice, people who deal with physical pain on a daily basis, .... (the list goes on). And sometimes in looking out we see ways in which we can help other people, and help them feel better. And sometimes, when we look out, we see what's really around us in the form of support and love and kindness.

One of the quickest ways to stop the downward cycle of depression is to focus on gratitude - to be grateful for what we do have. And so, I'd like to publicly state my gratitude for my friends and family - who have supported and loved me. This past year has had a lot of change - mostly positive (and even those experiences I didn't 'label' positive, have helped me learn/grow). I've had some wonderful friends who've helped me with developing my website, and my business - for which I'm extremely thankful. And I'd like to thank 'the Universe' for providing me with all this support - and for continuing to challenge me and help me learn, and grow, and heal - to be more patient, to be more compassionate, to be more loving - and help me move through my life, and down my path, with an open heart.

Namaste.

(and it is now 12:28am - Jan. 19 .... happy birthday to me :) )